simonalkenmayer:

teaboot:

scarhaver:

scarhaver:

i think it is good to warn people in advance about the circumstances that will cause you to bite them and i think that having given that warning it is good to follow through when the time comes

the rattlesnake is an admirable creature whose virtues we should emulate

One time at dance some rando grabbed me by the waist and told me to dance with him and I told him “if you don’t let go I’m going to bite you” and he didn’t let go so I bit him and that really should be the end of the story but he thought that was funny so I turned around and gave him a donkey kick to the shins and took about a 4 inch strip of skin with me so what I learned that day is when one is without debilitating venom, one must be as a horse do

“be as a horse do” is my new favorite colloquialism.

(via shortysquadpresident)

157,142 notes

16bithoe:

When you’re on your way home from the club but one of you almost died

image

(via thecommonchick)

621,760 notes
  • me: i made new friends today
  • mom: oh thats nice honey
  • me: yeah we're gonna meet up and do satanic rituals this weekend
261,247 notes